Dear Group Leaders and Friends in Christian Meditation,
This month would have been my 25th anniversary of priestly ministry in the Catholic Church. That is hard to believe. I left active ministry as a Catholic priest December 2023 in a moment of a choice-less event. Yet is anything ever really choice-less? It was a time of conflict when I had no real sense of the battles and the personalities involved with a lived cold war.
At first when I left priestly ministry in the Church, I struggled with what was next for me. I felt desolate, I had spent most of my adult life in some way or another being formed for this role that would no longer be mine to hold. It was a strange new world. I stopped praying. When I tried to meditate tears flowed more than my mantra. I didn’t often go to church.
My one connection with Church, silence, and prayer was a monthly online group that read and shared their thoughts on the writings of Thomas Merton. I faithfully attended the group and shared nothing as others spoke from the depth of their reading of works of Merton. At the end of the group meetings, we observed five minutes of silence. I waited each month for these five minutes of peace. This short meditation was heavenly. Those five minutes were my entrance into healing.
Soon I joined the weekly meditation group that was facilitated by long term meditator, Greg Ryan, who also leads the monthly Thomas Merton group that was my gateway to spiritual wholeness. While unaware of my limping along into a new life, this small online community was a safe harbor.
After leaving parish ministry and stumbling along into this new life, I was given an opportunity to work in hospice. In the hospice world, I find myself feeling “priestly” even though I don’t hold the title “Father”. I am simply Kevin, Chaplain Kevin, and sometimes Pastor Kevin.
John Lennon sang “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy), ‘Double Fantasy’ album. That continues to be my experience. At first when I left active priestly ministry, I felt shame and a failure. I had no sense of what my life would be like. The silence of those five minutes of the Merton group and later the healing of the online meditation group helped me find a new normal. I am reminded of what Maggie Ross, the Anglican Anchorite, has written: “One of the most important insights that comes from working with silence is that nothing in our lives is wasted.” I am sure that each of us can think of those choice-less events in our own lives when we had to adjust to a new normal, as our lives became seemingly turned upside down. Those times when we need to be tender with ourselves, open to the trust of a new beginning. All of our experiences in our lives have led us to these moments. Those of us who have taken up the discipline of daily meditation, even when our mantra is tear-soaked, give God the space to work with us. Only God can make us whole.
During our time of meditation, we let go of expectations along with our thoughts and “take the spotlight of attention off ourselves.” Perhaps that is what brings healing to us during these daily moments with God. We give God the space to work with us as we lay aside our expectations along with our thoughts. Meditation gives us the freedom to simply be in the present moment–the moment of Christ. The past is gone–along with the expectation of how our lives ought to have been–and the future is yet to arrive. All we have is this moment. It is in this space that God basks us in his love, seeing us as we truly are, and loving us unconditionally.
Our nation desperately needs healing. We need to allow ourselves to be loved by God and share that love with our neighbors. In this moment, meditation is a gift that can assist us personally but also bring healing to us as a nation and a world. As you are likely aware, our American branch of the World Community for Christian Meditation is hosting the John Main Seminar in Washington D.C. Healing the Breach: Finding Faith, Meaning and Dignity in a Season of Contempt. (https://wccm.org/john-main-seminar-2026/). I would encourage each of us to participate in this event in any way we are able whether being present at the seminar, if that is possible for our lives, or virtually. One way or another, I pray that this seminar is a moment where we give God the space to show us a pathway to wholeness.
Warmly,
Kevin Maksym
